How to pray when you don’t believe
Why prayer matters
Use words to create harmony between your heart and your life
How to pray when you don’t believe.
Why bother with prayer, I mean, I don’t believe in God…
For some people, prayer is linked to religious or spiritual practice; it can feel as easy as breathing, especially if you’ve been involved in a spiritual tradition for most of your life.
But for many people a belief in God is not central to their lives. Some people may even be averse to the notion of God and get all cringey and uncomfortable if they think—or even hear other people talk about— the “G” word.
And in this case, why bother with prayer?
I’m curious about what happens if we free prayer from theology and from the need to believe or be devoted to a particular deity.
What if prayer could put ourselves in right relationship to the entire universe; instead of feeling isolated and separate, prayer can remind us that we are part of the wonder of existence.
Words have power
Have you ever had a time when someone said something hurtful it stuck in your head? We can be bothered by the things people say for days, weeks, sometimes our whole lives. Words, said with full intention, can harm. But they can also heal.
This is where putting your heart into a prayer can fill your mind with peaceful and loving thoughts. Why not use the power of words to create harmony and understanding?
How to pray when you don’t believe
Prayer can be like the power of the archer’s mind when focused on a target. When we aim our attention at what matters—peace, understanding, compassion, tolerance—then our actions flow from our inner clarity, rather than from trying to exert our control and demanding expectations on the world.
Prayer can be a moment of straightening the spine, taking a deep breath, and simply writing a few lines in a journal and looking for the moments when a quieter and more intuitive voice emerges.
Prayer can be hugging your child, spouse, or friend and simply sending them peace from your heart.
Prayer is not wishful thinking nor abdication of yourself; it is firm conviction that the power of your intentional service will benefit others.
Five Places to Find Prayer, even when you don’t believe
1. Present Moment Wonderful Moment-Mindfulness Verses for Daily Living by monk Thich Nhat Hanh
This is one of my favorite books that I return to often. It helps me turn the daily ordinariness of life into something much more special
From the publisher “Developed during a summer retreat in Plum Village, Thich Nhat Hanh’s meditation center in France, these poetic verses were collected to help children and adults practice mindfulness. The result is a handbook of practical, yet down-to-earth verses. These gathas, or mindfulness verses, poetic verse designed to use ordinary daily activities such as washing the dishes, driving the car, or standing in line, as an opportunity to return to a state of mindfulness.”
2. Help, Thanks, Wow: The Three Essential Prayers by Anne Lamott
I fell in love with this book and have recommended it many times; down to earth, funny, and just an enjoyable read!
“A New York Times bestseller about the three simple prayers essential to coming through tough times, difficult days and the hardships of daily life.
It is these three prayers – asking for assistance from a higher power, appreciating what we have that is good, and feeling awe at the world around us – that can get us through the day and can show us the way forward. Insightful and honest as only Anne Lamott can be, Help, Thanks, Wow is the everyday faith book that new Lamott readers will love and longtime Lamott fans will treasure.”
3. Benedictine Monk David Steindl-Rast
This monk, author, and lecturer brings wit and intelligence into his talks. His Ted Talk on how to be happy has over 8 million views; for good reason. He is wise and down-to-earth and an uplifting voice that I turn to when things seem bleak.
“Deep down, there is one faith that everyone has, a trust in life. Even our body expresses this trust in life by taking another breath….if we lose faith and meaning in life we cannot survive. It expresses it in a Buddhist way, a Christian way, and even in different ways of expression like atheism. But the foundational trust in life is there for all of us.”
4. Author and Teacher Mirabai Starr
“Spiritual awakening does not leave us immune to the human condition. Quite the opposite. It brings us into the heart of reality, where we mourn and rage bow and give thanks, ache and surrender.” From Wild Mercy
For twenty years Marabai Starr taught Philosophy and World Religions at the University of New Mexico-Taos and now speaks internationally on contemplative practice and inter-spiritual dialog.
She has a wonderful weekly email that is full of inspiration, read the latest one here.
She also has a Sabbath series where she offers insights on the practice of Shabbat, from her tradition of Judaism that celebrates a day of rest and contemplation each week. Watch the short and inspiring videos here
The practice of kirtan, a call and response form of chanting, is one of my favorite ways to get out of my head and into my heart.
One of my favorite artists and guides for this practice is Krishan Das. Not only is his voice magical, he is surrounded by great musicians, and his devotion to the practice of kirtan shines in his storytelling and chanting.
“Learn to overcome your selfishness, guilt, and shame…and learn to have the experience that we are all one.” Krishna Das
Watch him lecture and speak about chanting at Satchidananda Ashram-Yogaville here . I’ve done most of my yoga training at Yogaville, it is a place of peace, beauty, and where seekers of all faiths can find support for their practice.
Listen to one of his Kirtans here
May these resources lift your spirits and help you use your speech for the highest good of yourself and the whole word.
Om Shanti, Peace,
Gita